College or Not? Who gets to decide? Who pays? What difference does it make?

If this is still the land of opportunity (and I surely hope it is), shouldn’t every young person have a chance to go to college? Even if we accept that not everyone is suited for a college education, how do we know when to make that determination? When they are in middle school? In 3rd grade? And who gets to decide? Teachers, parents, youth?
I imagine most of us know people who: